It takes a nation to protect the nation
Nuke Mecca for Humanitarian Reasons
I was thinking today, and I realized something. Paul, our erstwhile muslim apologist, got his feathers ruffled because we were talking about dropping a nuke on Mecca during the pilgrimage, and killing millions of INNOCENT HUMAN BEINGS screech screech!!!!So in a word you are comfortable about your site hosting a serious discussion about the desirability of the mass murder of millions of innocent human beings!!
Well... apparently Paul doesn't really understand his muslim scriptures, because nuking Mecca and incinerating all those muslims would be the NICEST THING WE COULD EVER DO FOR THEM. I'm totally serious.
Think about it: If we nuke a couple million muslims in Mecca, they'll all die as martyrs in a war against the infidels. Which means they'll all go straight to paradise! Furthermore, they'll all die on the pilgrimage to Mecca, which means they can be extra doubly sure of going to paradise!!! It's like winning the lottery twice in one day. They'll go to paradise in double-wide, reclining first-class seats!
Five minutes after its over, sure their corpses will be smoldering ash piles eerily blowing over the radioactive desert, but who cares? They're really in PARADISE. Deflowering naked houris with snapping black eyes all day, guzzling down rivers of honey encrusted with diamonds and frankincense, singing on silver plated camels in the sperm rain, 72 virgins popping grapes into their mouths and giving them handjobs on waterbeds filled with liquid gold and fig slurry. Hell, getting incinerated with a nuclear device will be the best thing that ever happened to them!
I propose we call it the Martyrdom Assistance Strategic Strike (or MASS for short), and festoon the lucky B-2 stealth bomber that gets to drop the big one with gala colors in celebration! It'll be the happiest day in the history of Islam, and we can make this once in a lifetime humanitarian mission possible if we all just take a little time to care. Those poor unfortunate muslims, sweating in the desert heat, with fart-trapping black bags over their bodies, in poverty, with skin diseases and big boils and goiters and body odors and rust stains in their low-quality Egyptian underwear. Let's do them all a favor and give them an express ticket to PARADISE where they can get cleaned up and have some fun. They'll never have to worry about food, money or skin problems again!
How bout if we let kindness dictate our foreign policy for a change: Let's Nuke Mecca for Humanitarian Reasons
Add a Comment
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Comment by pyrus on February 27, 2010 at 1:14
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gives a completely different meaning to the phrase 'let's do mass'
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